Snowed in, and that's alright with me

I guess we all expected a bit of snow this season, since it’s been such a wet year. I have to admit, when the reports of a winter storm warning came in Thursday, I was skeptical. The sky was clear and it felt relatively warm. Around mid-morning on Friday, when the warning had grown from a few inches to close to a foot of snow (all still by word of mouth on my part, mind you), I still had my doubts.

And then, once it started, it didn’t stop ‘til my wife and I were snowed in for the weekend. We didn’t make the typical, frantic, last-minute grocery store trip for supplies to last all winter, but figured some soup and bread from the neighborhood co-op would suffice.

Sure, we had made all sorts of weekend plans that had to be broken. A brunch, dirty Santa party, and coffee with a friend will have to wait ‘til later. However, being stuck at home certainly has a silver lining. I can catch up my blogs, for one, and spend lots of time getting into the Christmas spirit watching holiday flicks with my family. Hopefully everyone else in the Valley is so fortunate.

Besides, on our midday walk with Trisha and Maddy we saw the difficulty some were having trying to get buried cars back on the road. Still there at 1pm. Still there at 130pm. I’m sure they have somewhere to be, like the other sporadic cars we saw cruising in the court, but I’d just as soon forgo errands and familial and friendly visitations for at least one weekend. We can always get right back to our busy lives once the snow has melted.

Is there anybody out there?

Note: The following may have been published in the "letters to the editor" section of The Roanoke Times prior to publication here.

I now have a clear understanding of where Senator Jim Webb stands on the issue of pirates in Somalia. The only problem being, I never asked him about Somali pirates.

When the issue of net neutrality was again before congress back in August, I felt inclined to write both Senator Webb and Senator Warner and express my fervent opposition to ending net neutrality, which would constrict bandwidth usage and tier Internet pricing under the guise of fighting digital piracy.

It seems that just as there are few books on digital piracy compared to piracy on the high seas, Senator Webb's keyword program used to reply with pre-fab statements about popular issues must have thought I was expressing concern over swashbucklers thousands of miles away and not profiteering by Internet service providers here at home.

We are led to believe that - if we have a problem with the state of the union - that we should write our congressmen. As voting, tax-paying citizens, this is the most efficacious act toward getting our voices heard. Indeed, I am not the only one who has bought this idea, since - in the automated response just after sending my email to Senator Webb - he writes: "[M]ore than 100,000 Virginians will send their ideas directly to me this year." Apparently claiming popular high ground, the auto-response from Senator Warner read that: "Since we opened our doors on January 6, we have been contacted more than 400,000 times by individuals from across the Commonwealth."

So while it's clear that computer technology has allowed for more responses from citizens, receiving an email months after my inquiry that has nothing at all to do with my subject does little to convince me that our voices are being heard. Indeed, I received nothing from Senator Warner after the auto-response, but I think I'd prefer silence to a response that makes it quite clear that nothing I said mattered. Silence could at least convince me that the time and thought I put into voicing my very valid points didn't queue up in some auto-response generator that made a best guess at what I wrote.

But I'm the last person to rail against technology, given its wonderful outcomes in communication and education. Even now, it lets me know that my concerns remain unheeded by my congressmen. At least I can save myself the time of bothering in the future.

I see...A Women's Expo!

Trying to act as a supportive husband, I was one of only a few men at the Women's Lifestyle Expo at the Salem Civic Center last weekend. The boon was that some of the talbes set up featuring everything from vitamin juice to support bras had fun-size candy bars or - at the least - mints and pens.

Sure, there wasn't much there that was supposed to appeal to me, and - sure enough - nothing did. Luckily, we got in free thanks to some compt tickets from my mother, who was working one of the booths.

All were overshadowed, however, by the psychic offering free "private" readings, though there were a solid twenty people hovering about her divination podium. The line for her readings was at least 50 people long, and while I don't know how long Madam Whatshername was devoting to each person, waiting in that line must have been a 90-minute commitment if it was a second.
I'm not sure how the center measures success: whether it's based on how well the vendors do, too.

But if based on attendance alone, they must have been happy with the expo, because it was rather full. Filled enough to make anything worth looking at require queuing and waiting your turn (save for the aforementioned psychic, whose service has a worth measured in relative naivete).

It was actually done up rather well - hardly comparable to when there's a gun show or the horse show, but feeling rather appropriate for the occasion. I just hope that amid all the tea leaf reading, attendants made time to check out some of the health booths, which seemed fairly in earnest if a little trendy.

All in all, if the same event took place for men, I'd very likely pay the $5 entry fee. Though I'd certainly expect the fun-size candy bars as compensation just in case.

Banning books? We're still doing that?

While I normally stay away from politics, I'm still a little disappointed at all of the drama over The Perks of Being a Wallflower being pulled from school shelves in the Valley.

The most recent story (Thurs) involved a local teacher who stopped teaching Hawthorne for fear of backlash. Umm...yeah.

I didn't dig school until college. I was the student teachers claimed: "is an A student" who "just doesn't apply himself." In reality, I was the student who would have rather read something like Wallflower rather than The Canterbury Tales. Don't get me wrong, Chaucer is amazing...for an adult. For youth, he's about as engaging as a church sermon.

The books I did read in youth were ones I'd smuggled from my parents' books: King, Sheldon, and other masters of pulp fiction. Inappropriate? Maybe. But it was the allure of reading something I shouldn't have been that made me devour such books with haste. It could just as easily have been Chuck Palahniuk, Irvine Welsh, or William Burroughs.

At least The Roanoke Times acknowledged that banning books ALWAYS has the opposite effect: kids and adults alike clamor for and seek out the banned books to see what the excitement is about. In that way, maybe banning is key to getting youth fired up about books.

Just so the local library still carries them, that is.

Yard Sale Saturday: Beautiful Day

It was a perfect day for yard sales, and - as of this writing - still is, though we have returned home with the car full and the need for a weekend nap imminent.

The weather was beautiful and there were myriad yard salers out there availing themselves of it. We struck up a number of conversations while perusing people's wares, and also came across some...interesting finds worth mentioning.

1. Ten pounds of copper tubing priced at $25. The value of the metal as scrap: $24. I'm not mathematician, but I'm thinking lowering the price a few bucks would save this seller a trip to the recycle plant.

2. Crummy X-Box 360 games for $3. Man that's cheap for X-Box games...but the games are lame. I was thinking gifts, pleading ignorance as to the low quality of the gameplay, but opted to pass.

3. Huge box of VHS tapes selling for $1 each right next to the neighbor's even larger box of tapes selling three for $1. Hmmmm....decisions, decisions. I'm gonna have to go with option b on this one.

4. Tons of bake sales. Nothing like having fresh baked goods at yard sales. They're cheap, delicious, and provide ample fuel to keep pushing for "just a couple more" sales. Keep 'em comin'.

All in all, a fun day yard sale-ing out there. Plenty to choose from as the last of the "spring cleaning" sellers realized they have to strike while the iron is still hot. We may only have another month before it's time for jackets, and that always means fewer yard salers out there.

It won't stop us, but hey, I have to have something to write about...

Yard Sale Saturday: Sale variety bodes well

Despite a quick, early shower sending a few loosely-fastened signs to the ground, we came upon several excellent sales this weekend. The pleasant surprise was an annual book sale at a local Episcopal church, with the standard 50 cent paperback, $1 hardcover prices. I found at least two I’ll read before selling online, which is a plus.

It proved a little warm, so a stop over at Deb’s lemonade on Brambelton Ave hit the spot and gave us enough fuel to continue on Saturday. We found a few sales that had low or no prices, but were operating to raise money for someone in need - usually due to medical bills. This is a great idea for raising money, as most people will feel better about buying something they might have been teetering over.

Too, having low prices encourages charitable gifts so that yard salers can feel both that they got a good deal and helped someone out. At such events, if the books are priced low, I always overpay. Had they been priced high to begin with - even for a good cause - I would have been more hesitant.

We also ran across an estate sale or two. Alas, these seldom have anything I’m looking for, since it’s largely a home full of brikabrak with slightly higher prices than a conventional yard sale. Sometimes, you can find an appliance or knickknack at such sales, but only if you fancy that sort of thing. Since such sales are conducted by third-party vendors, anything worth much is either picked over or priced accordingly.

All in all an excellent yard sale-ing weekend. In the meantime, keep your signs big and your pockets full of change!

Yard Sale Saturday: Too Soggy

Well, you can't win 'em all, and this weekend's sales proved that. I began at about 8am, since many sales don't set up or post signs 'til around then - expected heat or not. Well, Saturday didn't turn out too hot, but just a little soggy. I'd made it to three sales before the rains came, and bought perhaps a handful of books and had no luck finding an extension cord.

Even venturing out later, I came across as many signs either flopped over from the rain or simply sopping on the ground - like florescent patches of grass. I figured this would not bode well for Sunday, either.

Ah well, I did get to trade some stories with one seller, who lit up when I asked about books, even though her sale (which she was working for an elderly neighbor) had none.

I'd guess most packed it in Saturday, perhaps accepting that they'll have to have it again next weekend, since Sunday sales generate far less traffic. Didn't really have time to find anything terribly interesting this week, but I'll be geared up and ready to hit the sales running this coming Saturday. And I'm certainly not praying for any rain in the mean time.

Yard Sale Saturday: Great for parents

This weekend's yard sales were as common as you'd like, with a few clusters here and there despite some late starters. With the heat, most began early and ended about midday, which means good things for buyers. It means most sellers are apt to make bargains, just so it means moving stuff.

Saturday I found a slew of kids' accoutrement at most sales: kids books, clothes, and equipment. Not necessarily my cuppa, but undeniably abundant. I'd guess most parents have already purchased the back to school gear and are looking to lightening the load of last year's stuff.

Alas, young mothers aren't known for their low pricing, as they are not far removed enough from the high prices they just recently paid. So haggling at these sales - while wholly acceptable - didn't always produce effective results.

I suspect the sales must have formed an oligopoly on books - my personal fav - because nearly all defaulted the "fifty cents for softcovers, one dollar for hardbacks" price structure. This is fine, though I'm far more prone to buy paperbacks, where I'll cherry pick the hardcovers for extraordinary buys.

This week's most interesting find: A book on the battle of Thermopylae. I'd just finished Frank Miller's graphic novel 300, so just as I'm interested in learning more, this book shows up in pristine condition. Score!

Hopefully the multitude of sales won't slow down with school getting back in session. I'll keep you posted.

Yard Sale Sunday: Hot, but abundant

This Saturday marked my return to hitting up local yard sales after an unavoidable hiatus. A few weekends out of town had me eager for more yard sale adventures, and this weekend did not disappoint.

Saturday morning we started early to avoid the heat, and before the sun really began to beat down, an occasional cool breeze made the weather ideal.

Apparently, this wasn’t lost on sellers, as sales were so abundant in Roanoke and Salem that standing at one sale, you could often spot the next sign down the road. Many times we were able to park and walk to multiple sales, which also helped sellers to keep prices low and turnover high.

This week's surprise find was a pristine copy of Clan of the Cave Bear for 25 cents. Not entirely interesting, except that I'd sold a worn out copy at my last yard sale for the same price. Now I have another new copy to wear out and sell in a few years.

This week's big event, however, was the All State yard sale/flea market in the Salem Civic Center parking lot. With everything from kids' clothes to comic books to hand-painted wind chimes made from soup cans, there were wares for any taste.

I loaded up on books - as usual - but found a movie or two, as VHS tapes are now the fodder of many sales. A little Deb's Lemonade kept us fueled and going 'til around noon, when the heat had grown too much for us and many sellers.

All in all, the number of sales were trumped only by the amount of buyers out there, so it was a good weekend for picking up whatever pleases.

Library fines still count...

In these tight economic times, I've decided to spend a lot more time at my local library - that would be the Raleigh Court library close enough to Patrick Henry to attract high school loiterers who daren't enter.

As with every time I enter a library, I am bowled over at the amount of free media, from books to movies to audio books and comics. I often kick myself in the pants for failing to take full advantage of these public resources more often. I spot books that I've bought sitting on the shelves mocking me, or other books I've delayed reading because I haven't saved up the money to buy them yet.

And so, I've become an avid library shopper, using their every resource to the point where I know the employees and they recognize and greet me when I enter. Having come from Arizona State, I wasn't used to the idea that something could be unavailable, which I find is often the case at the tiny Raleigh Court branch. Yet fear not, due to the wonder that is inter-library loan, I simply request books from other libraries and they are delivered - just for me - the the Raleigh Court branch. I get an email when they're ready to be picked up, and I feel like one of those giddy people at the post office picking up a package.

As you might imagine, I begin to feel a little guilty for enjoying all of this and giving very little back (save for the zillion or so tax dollars I've given Uncle Sammy without an itemized receipt). I entertained donating, and promised myself that I'd strongly think about it when I'm not hip-deep in copies of The New Yorker, graphic novels, DVDs, and hardcover books.

And then I discovered how to check my late fees online. Hmmmm. And all this time I erroneously believed that they were just really lenient on when I returned their stuff. It rings in somewhere around $20 for the last couple of months, still one heck-of-a bargain. Having asked the guy manning the counter when they'd come to collect, he told me that - until it reaches $25 - there's no time limit. So I certainly don't mind handing over a coupla tenners every now and then when I've gotten so much out of their services.

But let's be clear: I now consider my late fees a fitting donation.

Looking for survey respondents

While this may seem a little unorthodox, I'd like to mention that I'm conducting research for a writing project, and still need survey respondents.

Does anyone know of somewhere in the Roanoke Valley where I could set up a booth free or cheap and offer $1 per person to fill out my survey? It takes a whopping 5 minutes, and this used to work back at ASU, so I figure it would be worth a shot if I knew where to go. I though about the fair, but the "merchant night" or whatever it was called has already passed.

Anyway, if any of my wonderful readers would like to take said survey, I am giving away two $50 Amazon gift cards once I have all the data I need.

It's at:
http://tinyurl.com/nax52p

As for more stories of tramping Roanoke, check back later in the week and hear about my Fourth of July adventures.

Geocaching Roanoke: Day One

I'm sure you've heard about geocaching. It's where you take your GPS, plug in coordinates, and take an adventure to find hidden containers in or around your area. Sometimes they have cool trinkets in them to swap out with your own; other times you sign a logbook or put in geocaching coins that travel all over. Almost any area has them - sometimes several of them.

Ironically, www.geocaching.com is a great place to start. Normally, of course, the last place you go when looking for info on something is the .com address of the subject (as many visitors to whitehouse.com have found out). But in this case, the geocaching site is really all you need to get started.

Well, you also need a GPS, which we have. It's a model meant for car travel - nothing fancy. Not really meant for traveling by foot, but we've used it in that capacity in DC, so off we went.
There were three geocaches in our immediate area, and since some of them have to be sought out with some old-fashioned creativity, I figured we'd keep it close to home.

Alas, we've come from the desert, so we set out with shorts and flip-flops: not advisable. Our first geocache was very likely in the hollow of a tree. I say "likely" because I only went as close as flip-flops in pouring rain could take me. Amid briars and sloshing around a pound of dead grass that had embedded itself in my flops, I wasn't able to find the cache.

The wife also insisted we bring the girls - our poodle and Staffordshire terrier, Maddie and Trisha. They had about as much faith in our mission as we did after several minutes of searching within the confines of our attire.

The second cache was no different, requiring crossing a six foot wide stream full of mud after wading through foot-high grass for a while.

We found out that the GPS might not be up to the task, though it's absolutely vital for road trips, of course.

The third cache was what geocachers call "muggled" meaning that someone took it, likely thinking that they were in luck to find a coffee can full of trinkets.

Next time, I'm wearing boots, jeans, and gloves, waiting for a nicer day, and renting a suitable GPS from Roanoke Parks and Rec. Then perhaps I'll have something a little more exciting and a little less comical to report.

NIA: Neat, but not for me

Often willing to try new things, I was interested enough when my wife read the description of a new class at the Brambelton Center put on by Parks and Rec. NIA, she read, stands for Non-Impact Aerobics and is a mix of yoga, dance, and martial arts. While I dance the same or less than your average guy in his 30s (which means not too much), the yoga and martial arts intrigued me.

Sure, I figured it would prove a little female-heavy, based on the description. But when I showed up at the Brambelton Center Monday night, I discovered I was the ONLY dude in the mix, not to mention the youngest.

Minutes later, while flapping my arms around like a drunken monkey, listening to the latest CD from Rainforest Cafe, I understood the demographic perfectly. I belonged there about as much as I belong in the YWCA or the WNBA.

I hung in there for about half an hour, pulling moves like "clean the cobwebs", "catch the ball", and "carry the pale" with a reservation not lost on the instructor. Quickly, she came after me to shoo me from my back corner of the room, and managed to coral me right out the door and into the Teen Center. Much more comfortable there.

I waited for my wife on the other side of the wall, still hearing the shouts and ululations and feeling immensely thankful I wasn't the one expected to make them.

My wife liked it, and did really well, despite perpetually sneaking glances my way to make sure I hadn't chewed my wrist open or faked a heart attack to get out of there.

After class, a woman dabbing herself with a towel said: "You're a brave man." I told her I didn't feel too brave, having left in the middle of it. "Men try it every now and then," she said. "None have ever made it through a whole class."

Feeling a little better about ranking completely average among my intrepid brethren who've attempted NIA, I went home feeling only a little sillier than when I'd gotten there.

Yard Saling: Our Annual Sale

It's that time of year: time to clear out the basement of leftover stuff, gather bits of unimportant items about the house, and have our own yard sale.

The other side of the fence is nothing new, since we have a sale once a year, and sometimes one that goes for two weekends. I try hard to follow my own advice and make my signs big and plentiful, my prices reasonable, and have lots of change and a positive attitude.

Saturday began around 6am, with people arriving about 630am as the signs went up. I placed stickers on as many items as possible, hurriedly getting as many items from the cardboard boxes onto the huge computer tables so no one had to (or would) route through the boxes willy nilly.

As expected, my media sold well: books, DVDs, and VHS (the latter only slightly so). I refused the inevitable early-on bulk buyer who wanted all the DVDs at a bargain in hopes of getting more in the long run.

Alas, Saturday ended with filing a police report when a woman who had lingered about the DVDs for an hour and a half we later found had been pulling the disks from the cases and stuffing them into her one DVD purchase. Not sure how an hour and a half of anyone's time is worth $10 in DVDs at the price of one's dignity and character as well, but perhaps she'll be blessed with a few flat tires and halitosis for some time. Karma is a funny thing.

Sunday skirted the potential thunderstorms, though always a slower yard sale-ing day on the Bible Belt. It ended fairly well, with only a few boxes heading to Goodwill and a stop at Deb's Lemonade to round out an exhausting but pleasant weekend of downsizing.

What advice might I have for others having their sales? While my Spanish is awful, I sealed one sale by employing what little I know. Other times, a tepid buyer came through with a little friendly banter.

So be nice, familiar, and remember what that not everyone is the same as you'll be when going to sales, but almost all (save my DVD snatcher) are good people just looking for a little distraction and a few bargains.

Dining Out: Awful Arthur's

I've eaten at the Tower's Mall Awful Arthur's twice in the last couple of weeks, and I have to say that the name is a total misnomer.

What might also be misunderstood is the cost. Sure, there were some pricier items on the menu, but I think it's all a matter of timing.

I went the first time during dinner happy hour, which - luckily - is not confined to the smoking bar area. The locally brewed beers were $2.50, and the one I had - a lighter ale - was quite good.

On the dinner menu were a number of items that broke the $10 range, sure, but there were also various salads, apps, and - most importantly - sandwiches that were $6 - $8 with a side. I had the catch of the day (which usually spells mucho dinero) for $7 with a side. Can't beat that.

After the good experience (despite somewhat mediocre service), I went back for lunch and found that the $6 items were gone, though there were still some $7 choices. I suppose I could have asked for a dinner menu, given that there were more "lunchy" items on the dinner menu than the lunch menu, but I went with the shrimp and scallop wrap for $7. It was quite packed with both, not some rice or lettuce filled wrap with a tablespoon of popcorn shrimp. I even took some home after the first half and a side filled me up.

So, with the right choices, Awful Arthur's doesn't have to mean an expensive dinner or drinking. Time it right and you'll get the best of both worlds.

Local Colors Tasty and Fun

Last weekend's Local Colors in Elmwood Park in Roanoke was a really good excuse to get out and eat some ethnic food. Admittedly, what that meant was that - unless one of the many nations represented there had food or drink of some kind - I wasn't very likely to approach the booth. But hear me out.

I'm as extroverted as the next, well, extrovert. But a collection of people in their national garb sitting behind a booth on which rests pamphlets and a few pictures doesn't exactly act like a tractor beam for me. I'm sure they were a wealth of knowledge on their respective countries, but as booth after booth sans food or drink remained largely empty, I knew I wasn't alone in my tendencies.

The Viking tent had shields, swords, and other relevant objects, which drew in some of the more intrepid kids. The various musical talents on stage - from Native American to Lithuanian to hip-hop - was what really kept people hanging out.

At the advice of a friend who was working a booth selling Scottish fare, I tried the Lebanese food, and was glad for it.

The rain came and went sporadically, making wanderers gather under trees in lieu of hiding under booths where bored but eager gurus on myriad foreign countries unintentionally kept all but the most gregarious at arm's length.

There were some booths with wares other than the edible kind, which seemed a sound enough excuse to approach for the potentially apprehensive. After dessert from the Mexico stand, I was strapped for cash, but perused a few booths' goods if only to make those working the stands feel purposeful.

For someone unaware of how varied our demographics are in the valley, the event reflected a positive, diverse environment, and was especially pertinent and beneficial for kids.

Yard Sale Saturday: Early birds beat the rain

This weekend's yard sales were anticipating some hostile weather, it seems, and wisely began pretty early to beat the rain and the heat. I ran into several community yard sales, which are great for quantity.

For some reason, this sometimes makes sellers feel it's more of a flea market and up the prices accordingly, meaning far fewer sales and more junk to lug back into the garage at the end of the day.

Several friendly folks and smiling faces littered the various sales, most of which were up and running by 8am. Some listed as starting at 7am where just unpacking at 715am - a bit of a no-no, and a habit that will invariably result in a big "meh" from early-bird buyers.

Granted, some will just dig through your unopened boxes anyway, but personally I'm never that desperate for a coaster set or salt and pepper shakers.

I picked up some decent books, most of the sellers commenting on the earthquake that had woken them only a few hours hence. There were some decent movies, priced everywhere from 25 cents to several dollars.

The obvious winner for this week's Fun Find was the cardboard stand-up of Jeff Gordon which the owner had colored with red marker over the lips, effectively emasculating the NASCAR racer and arguably decreasing the resale value of the item.

The Sunday sales may have been worthwhile, but with all of the rain from the night before, and the occasional sprinkle throughout the day, I'd guess only the truly dedicated sellers and buyers were out.

Til next time, be sure to check your books for embarrassing home photos you've used as bookmarks before selling, and have some fun out there!

Dining Out: Ukrops for Dinner

All right, so maybe eating at the Ukrops deli and salad might seem to fall a little short of dining out to some, but consider this: I've seen Chinese buffets with much less selection. While running errands, my wife and I lost steam to go home and cook (well, she lost steam, since I don't do much cooking).

Hark, close by loomed Ukrops and a tasty salad bar with plenty of extras, not to mention the grazing along the way. My watch read a little after 7pm, though I gave the time no notice. But then, heading in to see what sorts of muscle-building goodies the bakery offered as samples, we came across three different samplers, each of which was far larger than you might expect.

Admittedly, I had already stuffed my face with a spice cake and a little pound cake before getting to the salad bar.

When you get heavy extras, like tuna salad or noodles, you have to expect the price to shoot up. It's not exactly spinach leaves. Even so, I figured mine wouldn't be too bad, since I'd grown accustomed to around $5 - $6 a pound for salad.

And yet, ringing up with two huge salads and a dessert (as if the cake weren't enough) was just over $8.

What's going on here? I wondered, though of course I just quickly paid as if I were getting away with something that I didn't want the cashier to notice.

I guess the salad bar and select other items are 33% off after 7pm. I'm sure the hour was also the reason for such generous grazing at the bakery.

And sitting upstairs overlooking Franklin Rd is kinda nice, too. It was quiet, and the well-stocked accouterments upstairs leaves little to be desired.

So, lessen learned: if you want some good, cheap eats after 7pm, but don't want to go for the whole sit-down restaurant with the wait and the tip, then give Ukrops a shot.

Yard Sale Saturday: It's wide open

With the perfect low 70s building up to 84 degrees on Saturday, it was an ideal day for yard sales - and this wasn't missed by sellers, who abounded on Saturday. I visited a dozen or so from the Earth Day celebration in Raleigh Court down to 419 by way of Colonial Ave.

I have to say there was excellent signage, with only two wild goose chases (likely from sellers who were scratching their heads wondering where the crowds were).

Here are some interesting finds this week:

1. A collection of very warn Nora Roberts paperbacks for $2 each. Umm....good luck with that.

2. A huge collection of books, VHS and DVD movies, and CDs in what must have been the emptying of a bachelor pad of winter wares. A little pricey, but some good finds there.

3. A lone woman selling hunting equipment, motocross gear, and tools in what I'm assuming was a less-than-amiable split with Mr. Outdoorsman.

I picked up a slew of books and several movies - some of which I'll be keeping, and still others that are listed online already. I guess the fortuitous find this week was a pristine copy of The Golden Compass, which I'd been wanting to see again.

So yard sale season is good to go here in the valley. Let's hope the weather stays warm and dry for the next several weekends. Keep reading as I'll be going into some tips on having your own yard sale, which we're gearing up for around here.

In the mean time, make your signs big and keeps your pockets full of change.

Awe of Easter Lacking Luster

Alright, I admit it: I hadn't been to church in a while when I attending Easter service. The churches know the score though, often adding another service to accommodate what I've heard called the C and E Christians (attending Christmas and Easter services only).

I've never found church pews terribly comfortable, not like sitting in a movie. And it's true: my mind begins to drift as it did when I was a kid, and I check the bulletin to see how far along we are. But all of these are inward feelings and thoughts, and no sooner manifest outwardly as would a belch.

And yet - judging by the packed house at my church this Easter - you would guess it's the first time many people have gathered socially since Christmas. Behind me, Chatty Cathy and Prattle-On Barbie have a full-on conversation only stopping during the sermon, at which time they switch to a whisper.

Surely coffee is cheaper than their tithe, and they can talk all they want at Starbucks, so why come to church to begin with? Are either one really under the impression that God cares is someone comes to church to talk about tv shows and weekend chores?

To my right sit Mr and Mrs Insecurity - the former playing an air piano during every choir song, and the latter signing every word spoken while whispering it out loud. What could make someone so insecure as to try to glean stares during church? Like a talent agent is going to approach the couple after the service and say: "Hey, I noticed you guys rock the air piano, and you've got services for the hearing impaired covered. How would you like to be rich and famous?"

While kids acted like kids, and did a fair bit of wandering around - no doubt bored to tears by concepts way over their head - it was the adults really shining in the spectacle department this Easter. Give me crying babies over obnoxious and self-important adults any day.

But let's get real for a moment: far be it from me to judge what anyone does with his life, but if you're incapable of sitting through a one-hour service without wetting your pants or deafening your peers with the sound of how awesome you are, maybe just stay home and let the Lord come to you.

Or just don't bother at all.