Yard Sale Sunday: Eager Bird

In the deserts of Arizona, yard sale-ing meant getting up at ungodly hours - often starting at around 5am. Most sales began around that time, or - even if they had advertised starting later - eager yard sale aficionados would already be rifling through boxes yet to be splayed out whether invited or not. 

This dynamic made sense, of course, given that all sales were final by about 930am - meaning that the heat was simply too much to bear by that time and sellers packed up shop and buyers went back home. 

In Roanoke, however, yard sales can go all day - even in the peak of summer. But in both cases, the question arises of how important it is to get to a yard sale as soon as possible.

It sort of makes sense: you want to be among the first there so that you can have pickings of everything for sale. If you went later, maybe you'd miss out on lots of items you would have loved to buy. 

However, I'm going to argue for the path of patience here. While I have long been in situations where overzealous buyers have literally shot around my car, screeched to a halt, and jumped out in order to be just one person sooner at a sale, I've rarely seen such zeal pay off. 

Foremost, such behavior is reckless and likely to result in a traffic accident, and certainly won't make you any friends anytime soon (and fellow yard salers do reappear - have no doubt). But the whole point of the rush is - in my experience - just as moot.

With so many sales out there, the variety you'd see rushing around to as many as possible as fast as you can won't get you any more options or deals than the turtle's pace. 

Because we're all looking for different things and willing to pay different prices, there's really no logic in thinking that getting to a sale sooner will mean finding something that would have otherwise been bought already. 

So when you're out there scoping sales, just tell yourself that hurrying won't bring any more luck or quality of goods than taking your time. While there are certainly some wonderful items to be found at yard sales, and even some real money to be made, it should also be about the experience. Let's face it: you're not likely to find a lost Picasso at a yard sale, so have fun with them. Meet people and take your time. There will always be more sales. 

'Til next week: Keep your coffee in one hand and your singles in another. 

Lick, Stick and Try To Mail

It was 6:10pm on April the 15^th (Tax Day) when I suddenly detested our post offices. On the door of my closest office, going far earlier than planned just to be safe, I saw a sign letting me know that they were keeping regular hours, with an insult-to-injury jab at the bottom about the late penalty I'd suffer if I didn't send my return back in time. Time for the mad dash downtown. 

Okay, so I get that every media in the Valley was used to convey that post offices would have regular hours. I know that the Roanoke Times, the local radio stations, and the signs at the post offices communicated this fact to where few could miss it. However, aside from most certainly being one of the people who did miss it, the point I must make is that communicating regular hours doesn't make only holding regular hours okay. 

Everywhere else I've lived had post offices open until midnight, and while those were bigger cities, we aren't exactly a one-horse town here. Even the USPS website boasted of convenience, reliability and extended hours on tax day.

I know that the post office is in trouble with the ubiquitous usage of email, but suck it up: we actually need you for once! (Well, selling books online, I need them a lot, but I'm adopting a community voice here). 

And from the research I conducted after the fact, I see nothing in the way of dissatisfaction about what can only be called shoddy service. I sent a Carrier pigeon to a friend living on an island populated by 18 people, and he told me their post office stayed open late. 

Luckily, my homage to Uncle Sammy still made it out with about five minutes to spare, though this was after wading through the crowds of not-so-happy people who had no stamps and had to wait to use the vending machines. Some might call us procrastinators, but I call us expectant. Expectant of a post office that would make just a little extra effort one day out of the year instead of holding the same friggin' hours they hold every weekday. At least act like you care by being open an extra half hour. 

Yard Sale Saturday: It's wide open

With the perfect low 70s building up to 84 degrees on Saturday, it was an ideal day for yard sales - and this wasn't missed by sellers, who abounded on Saturday. I visited a dozen or so from the Earth Day celebration in Raleigh Court down to 419 by way of Colonial Ave.

I have to say there was excellent signage, with only two wild goose chases (likely from sellers who were scratching their heads wondering where the crowds were).

Here are some interesting finds this week:

1. A collection of very warn Nora Roberts paperbacks for $2 each. Umm....good luck with that.

2. A huge collection of books, VHS and DVD movies, and CDs in what must have been the emptying of a bachelor pad of winter wares. A little pricey, but some good finds there.

3. A lone woman selling hunting equipment, motocross gear, and tools in what I'm assuming was a less-than-amiable split with Mr. Outdoorsman.

I picked up a slew of books and several movies - some of which I'll be keeping, and still others that are listed online already. I guess the fortuitous find this week was a pristine copy of The Golden Compass, which I'd been wanting to see again.

So yard sale season is good to go here in the valley. Let's hope the weather stays warm and dry for the next several weekends. Keep reading as I'll be going into some tips on having your own yard sale, which we're gearing up for around here.

In the mean time, make your signs big and keeps your pockets full of change.

Awe of Easter Lacking Luster

Alright, I admit it: I hadn't been to church in a while when I attending Easter service. The churches know the score though, often adding another service to accommodate what I've heard called the C and E Christians (attending Christmas and Easter services only).

I've never found church pews terribly comfortable, not like sitting in a movie. And it's true: my mind begins to drift as it did when I was a kid, and I check the bulletin to see how far along we are. But all of these are inward feelings and thoughts, and no sooner manifest outwardly as would a belch.

And yet - judging by the packed house at my church this Easter - you would guess it's the first time many people have gathered socially since Christmas. Behind me, Chatty Cathy and Prattle-On Barbie have a full-on conversation only stopping during the sermon, at which time they switch to a whisper.

Surely coffee is cheaper than their tithe, and they can talk all they want at Starbucks, so why come to church to begin with? Are either one really under the impression that God cares is someone comes to church to talk about tv shows and weekend chores?

To my right sit Mr and Mrs Insecurity - the former playing an air piano during every choir song, and the latter signing every word spoken while whispering it out loud. What could make someone so insecure as to try to glean stares during church? Like a talent agent is going to approach the couple after the service and say: "Hey, I noticed you guys rock the air piano, and you've got services for the hearing impaired covered. How would you like to be rich and famous?"

While kids acted like kids, and did a fair bit of wandering around - no doubt bored to tears by concepts way over their head - it was the adults really shining in the spectacle department this Easter. Give me crying babies over obnoxious and self-important adults any day.

But let's get real for a moment: far be it from me to judge what anyone does with his life, but if you're incapable of sitting through a one-hour service without wetting your pants or deafening your peers with the sound of how awesome you are, maybe just stay home and let the Lord come to you.

Or just don't bother at all.

David Sedaris Comes to the Valley

I love Zebra brand pens. They look good, they feel good, and they're durable. This was the reason I gave celebrated author David Sedaris a black, ball-point Zebra I happen to have on me, risking him thinking that maybe I was a pen salesman, sure, but I also figured someone with a line like he had for the book signing portion of his show needed a reliable pen. This was during his Friday night reading at the Jefferson Center downtown.

My wife and I showed up late - halfway into the first story Sedaris read, but still getting the gist by the end. My wife had insisted on it being a surprise, and since she'll be late to her own funeral, no doubt, by extension we were running to our balcony seats.

Sedaris read several stories, as well as some hilarious journal entries, followed by some Q and A before signing books.

My new copy of Naked was graced with a drawing of a turtle with the head of Abe Lincoln. My wife jokingly reminded me that singed books that were addressed to someone sold for a lot less, though she knew I had no intention of selling my new book - reading it, certainly.

I've read Sedaris in The New Yorker, last year's Greatest American Short Stories, and his non-fiction essays and short stories in collections Me Talk Pretty One Day and Holidays On Ice. His knack for seeing the comic potential in every situation, and the ability to communicate that comedy in an astute and complex fashion only makes the laughs that much bigger.

Though he has traveled all over, it's still nice to know the Roanoke is big enough for what seem to be annual visits (I missed him last year, alas). He's from Raleigh, which might have something to do with touring cities in the area, though I was proud to see a pretty packed house that night.

If you've not had the pleasure of reading Sedaris, his work is sure to have even the most somber cackling, and the partioned style is perfect for the person who takes months to finish a book.

Yard Sale Saturday: Dodged the Rainy Day Bullet

When the weather forecast called for showers on Saturday, I thought another week sans any decent yard sales might be upon us.

Fortunately, despite a chill in the air and some gusty winds, Saturday remained dry, allowing for yard sales to get into swing. Sure, it being early in the season and Easter weekend, sales were bound to be a little sparse, but still worth the trip out for the truly dedicated yard salers out there.

What was my haul? Just books this week, though some esoteric stuff that I hope will sell well online. At one sale, I asked casually how much the books sold for while the guy was showing another customer that a reciprocating saw indeed worked.

"Uhhh, three for a dollar," he said. "Or a quarter apiece."

I certainly didn't correct his math, since it played in my favor, but then wouldn't you know I found only three worth buying, so I just gave him a dollar and enjoyed the irony with my wife while driving to the next sale.

I'll hit on one tip for all of you sellers out there that remains an important staple to any successful yard sale. Making sure that you have adequate signs posted should be a given: a subject I could write volumes about, but I'll focus on the one facet of signs that I noticed missing this week: the encouragement sign.

That means that having one sign at the end of the road and then no other signs at each intersection isn't good enough - even if it's a straight shot and you put the address (which was likely written quite small) on the sign. An encouragement sign can be another sign reading "yard sale" or "garage sale" with an arrow confirming the way at all major intersections, or even a stand-alone arrow, though I would insist that all encouragement sings be the same color as the other signs to avoid confusion.

Also, try listing your sale on a site specific to advertising and announcing garage sales. Garage Sales Tracker is a new site that allows users to list their yard sales while saving both buyers and sellers time and money. Here are some of the benefits and features the site offers.

* Cheaper than the newspaper classifieds

* Rain out guarantee.

* Driving directions ready to be printed

So check it out and see if Garage Sales Tracker is right for you. 'Til next week, be sure to make your sale signs readable and your pockets full of change!

Spring in the Valley

Oh spring in the Roanoke Valley. Finally warm enough to doff the jacket. Warm enough to go yard sale-ing and think about that first barbecue. Warm enough for all manner of creatures to start the inevitable B and E under my porch and weaken the foundation on my house one hole at a time. And warm enough to cut the grass that's been fed so generously by the perpetual rains of the last couple of weeks.

What I know about lawn care could fit on a blade of grass, and not in the whole quantum physics manner of speaking - I mean literally. So when the mower fails to start after the 75th yank of the cord, I naturally start taking things apart and trying to look like I know what I'm doing.

Neighbors on both sides of me are also mowing, so I have to lay it on thick: whip out the tools, unscrew some screws, check the dipstick, and mess with pretty much anything on the mower that will move.

Yes, I did check to make sure it had gas, but I guess it didn't have enough to wake up, 'cause adding more gas seemed to do the trick. Then I was off and mowing, trying to navigate the foot-high walls of grass perpetuated by our dog's respective business ends all winter.

The clippings are far too wet to actually go into the bag, evidenced by the inevitable choking every six inches or so. I take the bag off and the clippings still has nowhere to go because the inventors of the machine must have been big fans of spring-loaded mechanics: if you open any path for the grass to go, it's quickly sealed by spring-loaded plastic - presumably the response to mowers complaining about their shoes and pants turning sea green when mowing without the bag.

In the end, I have to lodge a pen beneath the spring to wedge the guard in the up position, allowing the thick muck to go somewhere besides forward or down. The end result looks something like when you cut your own hair as a child with some of those plastic safety scissors.

This weekend, I'll play the metaphorical barber and recut so as to keep the neighbors from thinking I'd let the dogs mow.

Martial arts on the cheap

When I came to Roanoke from Phoenix, I quickly surveyed the area for a martial arts school to supplant my sorely-missed kung-fu school in Tempe. While the Roanoke area certainly offers an eclectic mix of martial arts, basic economics typically make the prices a little steep. That, and many schools seemed more geared toward kids, though I'm not sure why that equates to higher prices; maybe soccer and cheerleading are pricey hobbies as well.

Either way, after some searching, I may have found the answer: Roanoke County Parks and Rec. Instead of paying more than $100 a month for martial arts, I'm paying $50 for 17 weeks or $100 for the same time period twice a week. While I'm sure training more than once a week is prefarable for really learning an art, I find once a week is just right because I'll never flake on one night a week. If it were twice or three times a week, I'd make excuses half the time.

So now I'm taking Aikido, soon to be joined in the same building (Brambelton Community Center) by my wife who'll be taking kickboxing. Meaning that any marital spats should prove interesting, if a bit disconcerting for the neighbors.

Certainly any concern over how long I can keep up classes is abated by those I know personally who've taken classes in the same vein through parks and rec for several years.

So while tough times mean tighter budgets, maybe Parks and Rec has something you've always wanted to learn but didn't think you could afford the classes or had the time to dedicate to it.

Expo...nentially more expensive

I'm certainly happy to know that Roanoke and Salem are getting some decent expos, and I'm looking forward to the Business and Technology Expo coming up, but let's consider a few things here.

While I gave up going to The Home Show weekend before last for the Birth and Baby Expo (which was - by logistical mishap turned boon - free), I'm not sure I would have been too bananas about it anyway: paying for entry into a show that's selling stuff.

Same for the Women's Expo this last weekend, which - even had I been in town - I wouldn't have gone to, admittedly. But I did get the lowdown from a friend who did, and $16 at the door for her and her 13-year-old daughter in order to find high-priced wares inside spelled walking around aimlessly for an hour to make it feel worth while and leaving empty-handed.

I completely understand the seller's point of view: booths are not cheap at such events, and recouping sometimes several hundred dollars in overhead means higher-prices on goods. I can understand why sellers still attend, too, since you often have to get a little creative in finding things to do in Roanoke.

What I wonder is - with expensive entry fees, expensive booth rentals, and expensive goods - who's making the money? My first guess would be the venue location, but it wouldn't surprise me to hear that they've failed to reach fiscal projections as well.

So what does this all mean? Well, maybe nobody's making the money. To me, it means that during these slumped economic times, maybe a smaller entry fee would mean more buyers. Maybe smaller booth fees would spell more booths sold.

In other words, maybe the real issue is that no one's come up with anything more creative than upping prices in order to solve a very complicated economic environment. In the mean time, businesses large and small are shrugging their shoulders and wondering why no one's buying when prices have risen incrementally since this recession began.

What ever could be the reason?

Dining Out: Trio Bistro

Despite the recent closure of so many places - restaurants in particular - countrywide, there's still a great variety in downtown Roanoke. This weekend, while taking a lunch break from the Birthing and Baby Expo on Saturday, we headed down to Trio Bistro for what my wife assured me was a delicious spinach and artichoke dip made with brie.

The soup and salad bar were open, and since the day was rainy and cold, I opted for the tomato bisque soup while we waited for the spinach dip.

We were two of maybe half a dozen on one side, with some others at the bar side. I wondered as I filled my bowl if refills were free, though I didn't end up needing anything else to sate me. The soup was good. Not heart-stopping, but worth coming back for at a future time.

The spinach and artichoke dip was as sinful as it sounded, with garlic toasties for dipping - the brie making the dip as creamy as butter. While my "lying in wait" love handles would appreciate if I ate this dip more often, it will have to be one of those occasional indulgences like Cadbury Eggs or a good Tequila.

The staff was very nice, though it was largely in self-service mode. All told, I'm sure I will find myself at Trio again, if only for soup or salad with a lunch date or back for more dip after a late-night coffee.

Downtown: Birth and Baby Expo

There were certainly no shortages on announcements for last Saturday's Birth and Baby Expo put on by the New Life Birth Center at the Higher Eduction Center downtown. I saw a flier somewhere, saw it in the paper the Thursday before, and heard about it word of mouth from family.

What I didn't gather was that it was more a symposium than an expo, so when my wife and I sauntered in around 10am we expected to see booths with information, product promos, and some good literature. While there were some booths - maybe seven or eight - we were surprised to find that there was a schedule of speakers and panels throughout the day on a variety of birth and baby-related subjects. One of which we'd already missed.

Like most symposia, you couldn't hit all of the talks because they overlapped, but due to the misnomer, the talks were so sparsely populated that overlapping wasn't conducive to informing as many people as possible so much as it was forcing the handful of people there for the day to forgo one talk for another. This caused some talks not even to take place, since there weren't any people attending.

Plus, there was the lack of communication about an entry fee: some things mentioned no fee, others said free, and still others said $3 or a baby toy. Three dollars each certainly wouldn't have dissuaded us from coming, though collecting the entry fee was only mentioned halfway through the day and in passing.

So, it seems logistics and somewhat poor planning overshadowed what was a very informative and beneficial affair. There was a slew of helpful, knowledgeable, and loquacious midwives, doulas, nurses, and mothers there that many people did not avail themselves of.

Perhaps in the future, with the same level of advertising but better execution, the Birth and Baby *ahem* Expo will garner the attendance it deserves and generate some revenue and interest to boot.