NIA: Neat, but not for me

Often willing to try new things, I was interested enough when my wife read the description of a new class at the Brambelton Center put on by Parks and Rec. NIA, she read, stands for Non-Impact Aerobics and is a mix of yoga, dance, and martial arts. While I dance the same or less than your average guy in his 30s (which means not too much), the yoga and martial arts intrigued me.

Sure, I figured it would prove a little female-heavy, based on the description. But when I showed up at the Brambelton Center Monday night, I discovered I was the ONLY dude in the mix, not to mention the youngest.

Minutes later, while flapping my arms around like a drunken monkey, listening to the latest CD from Rainforest Cafe, I understood the demographic perfectly. I belonged there about as much as I belong in the YWCA or the WNBA.

I hung in there for about half an hour, pulling moves like "clean the cobwebs", "catch the ball", and "carry the pale" with a reservation not lost on the instructor. Quickly, she came after me to shoo me from my back corner of the room, and managed to coral me right out the door and into the Teen Center. Much more comfortable there.

I waited for my wife on the other side of the wall, still hearing the shouts and ululations and feeling immensely thankful I wasn't the one expected to make them.

My wife liked it, and did really well, despite perpetually sneaking glances my way to make sure I hadn't chewed my wrist open or faked a heart attack to get out of there.

After class, a woman dabbing herself with a towel said: "You're a brave man." I told her I didn't feel too brave, having left in the middle of it. "Men try it every now and then," she said. "None have ever made it through a whole class."

Feeling a little better about ranking completely average among my intrepid brethren who've attempted NIA, I went home feeling only a little sillier than when I'd gotten there.

Martial arts on the cheap

When I came to Roanoke from Phoenix, I quickly surveyed the area for a martial arts school to supplant my sorely-missed kung-fu school in Tempe. While the Roanoke area certainly offers an eclectic mix of martial arts, basic economics typically make the prices a little steep. That, and many schools seemed more geared toward kids, though I'm not sure why that equates to higher prices; maybe soccer and cheerleading are pricey hobbies as well.

Either way, after some searching, I may have found the answer: Roanoke County Parks and Rec. Instead of paying more than $100 a month for martial arts, I'm paying $50 for 17 weeks or $100 for the same time period twice a week. While I'm sure training more than once a week is prefarable for really learning an art, I find once a week is just right because I'll never flake on one night a week. If it were twice or three times a week, I'd make excuses half the time.

So now I'm taking Aikido, soon to be joined in the same building (Brambelton Community Center) by my wife who'll be taking kickboxing. Meaning that any marital spats should prove interesting, if a bit disconcerting for the neighbors.

Certainly any concern over how long I can keep up classes is abated by those I know personally who've taken classes in the same vein through parks and rec for several years.

So while tough times mean tighter budgets, maybe Parks and Rec has something you've always wanted to learn but didn't think you could afford the classes or had the time to dedicate to it.